I have been planning this â€œRe-introductionâ€ for quite a while now. A lot changed since my first intro. I never wrote my own diary nor written in any of the other subjects, but i kept reading, listening and identifying with a lot of you, I got inspired and grew in my own way. Lately I feel I miss structure in my horse adventures, which I hope to find through keeping a diary. Hopefully it will create more order in my thoughts and habits, a chance to be helped by some of you and maybe add to the amazing body of knowledge that is forming here.
Enough about all that â€“ I wanted to write an update about the horses & real life adventures.
Not long after I joined this forum my mare, Tequila, got badly injured, and tore a big chunk of tissue and muscle in her upper Rt hind leg. We spent a long half year healing, a time that bonded us together some more, and gave us a chance to Just be together, free of the â€œachievingâ€ stress (a part in my personality that drives us both into wonderful places, but just as well can drive Tequila mad â€“ on times when it blinds me to see her side in our dialog).
After Tequilaâ€™s leg healed, about 2 years ago, we all moved into a new home, finally - another dream come true â€“Tequila moved to live with me in our backyard.
The first year we had a friendsâ€™ horse to keep Tequila company, then on the summer of last year I got Hercules. He is 18, or so, years old, thoroughbred mix.
Hercules was used at the therapeutic horse farm I used to work at for several years. Iâ€™ve seen him do magic for patients. He was the most kind and willing horse, a quality that made him very popular as a school horse. After 5 years he became stiff and bitter to the point of bucking his riders off. This ended Herculesâ€™s therapeutic career and he was sent to retire here with us. I owe him a lot. I owe him tons of gratitude for all the patients he helped me with. He brought joy and comfort to kids and grownups alike. And I owe him an apology- though he was never treated badly, and was used with a bitless bridle, he had to endure a life of confinement in a stall, being over worked. Like most school horses he was never able to express an opinion and was made to be obedient â€“ not what I believe horses should deserve and far way off from how I perceive AND philosophy. I will tell more about him on my diary.
The last thing I wanted to write about in this â€œintroâ€ is the story of my latest adventure into motherhood. About 3 and half months ago, after what felt like an endless pregnancy, I gave birth to a baby boy (alas â€“ human childâ€¦).
So now I got another little creature to fit into my heart. It is so challenging, managing time and attention to the whole family (my human life partner Erez, Spot the dog, the 5 cats and the 2 horses).
The nice thing a bout being pregnant was that on the 7th month I stopped riding completely. This enabled the horses and me to get closer- in riding I could never get rid of the riding instructor/dressage person in me that looked for achievement and performance over fun and friendship). This enabled Hercules to develop some more trust and joy which he lacked before, and tequila found fun in movement in the arena. We trained/played at liberty and used less and less equipment, it was hard to tell who was enjoying it more. I canâ€™t even begin to describe the happiness it gave me.
Since giving birth I havenâ€™t gotten back to the same amount of time-sharing with the horses. I feel that being â€“ playing â€“ working with them demands some sort of peaceful state of mind which is hard to find these days. I find it hard to keep track of goals, progress, or take the time to just be. This is very saddening for me â˜¹.
I hope that with the help of keeping record, creating structure â€“ I will be able to keep track of things, maybe feel more connected within myself and invent more time.
Some pictures from the end of February (week 43 of pregnancy and 2 days before giving birth). Playing with Tequila & Hercules.
We used many creative games to enjoy movement, since I could hardly bend down and couldnâ€™t run myself. Lots of free longe, run to me etcâ€¦