The Art of Natural Dressage

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 28, 2014 5:07 pm 
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I have three weeks to do what ever I want to do for my Dutch lesson in school. Something about horses would be great, I thought. And to make it more interesting for non-horse-humans I want to add self-development to the topic. The problem is: I've only my own experience and my thoughts to give.

Now I'm really interested in the experiences you made with your horses:

How do/did they influence your behaviour, personality, thinking and feeling? Or did they do it at all?
Did they teach you skills that are useful generally in life or in interaction between humans too?


I wish all of you a nice weekend :) !


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 28, 2014 9:50 pm 
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Nice to read from you again, Anni! :kiss:

My horses definitely influenced who I am and how I relate to the world and other people. First, there are some general things, like being solution-oriented instead of focusing on problems, and adopting a positive, benevolent attitude towards others. More specifically, for each of my horses there are different things that they have taught me.

The main thing that Titum is teaching me again and again is that I really have to work on my own behaviour and the situation instead of trying to directly change the other one. If I want Titum to be active, cooperative and positive about our interactions, I have to set up a context in which the activity makes sense from his perspective. It does not work for me and him if I assume a more manipulative role of operant conditioning along the lines of simply providing rewards for the things that I want him to do. The activities need to be things that he himself is interested in. There are things that are not interesting for him at all, and there is no need for me to try to make him enjoy these things. He simply won't. The good thing is that he is making the difference ever so clear, because he can be so very bored and then every fibre of his body is reflecting his attitude towards the activity, whereas in other situation he is shining all over. I am ever so thankful for this, because it helps me with people as well, in that I can learn to be more of a supporter in what the other one needs, instead of focusing on my view of the world and then making them fit in.

One of my favourite lessons from Summy is that I have no control. At the same time, he is the most cooperative one of my horses, so it is ever so easy to get him to do things if I can communicate them in a way that makes him want them. From him I get the very same level of carefulness and consideration that I am putting into the interaction myself. Treat him like a truck and this is how he will behave, but if you treat him like a feather, he will be like a feather. This has taught me that my influence on others can be quite strong, but it is not strong by me being strong (as in dominant) but just the opposite. Living with him made me let go of my need to experience that I am "making someone do things", because he has taught me that this is not necessary at all. I just need to behave in the way that I want him to behave. Another important lesson from him was to work with his wildness (or more generally, with his difficult behaviour) instead of against it, but I have written about this a lot in other posts, so I will not repeat it here.

Pia is my master teacher in being non-confrontational. You cannot get her to do anything against her will, and every pressure made her go against it. Thus, I had to learn to be like water, simply not providing any walls that she felt she needed to push against. This is shaping my interactions with other people a lot. I was just thinking about this earlier today. We have a colleague here from another department, and he seems like a very power-oriented person. It is quite easy to get into a situation of competition, with him demonstrating his knowledge or influence and then getting you into a kind of defense mode. I realized that I do not have this problem with him, and the question of who is stronger just never comes up. Pia's inspiration is helping me to let others keep their sense of power, but not by signaling that I am submissive. It's more like the power we have does not affect each other's sense of control. I will try to describe it in more detail later once I find the right words.

And then there is little Baca... Actually I am not completely sure what his main lesson for me will be. But one thing he is doing for me is that he is making it more obvious to me that I can interact with horses (and people) in the way that I want to, and that the rules of what is acceptable in an interaction really depend on the two partners, and not on what anyone else is thinking of it. Baca is an angel in so many ways, but he also bites and sometimes jumps at me, and does things that would be totally inacceptable for I guess 99.9% of the people. I am sure I could change that, but I am not the least interested in this. For me his behaviour just feels perfect. I know that if I do not want to be bitten, I can make sure that it is not happening, so it is okay for him to bite when I do not signal the opposite. This also fits into my life in general, because in several social situations I find that I do not care about the rules of how you are supposed to interact with someone, as long as both partners are happy and benefit from the interaction. For example, all my life I have been warned that people were taking advantage of me and my willingness to help them. I never felt like that, at all. Instead, I feel that I am a strong and confident person who can do things for others because, well, simply because I can. Why create barriers if you do not feel in danger?

I believe there are certain things that certain people need to or want to learn at a certain time and under certain circumstances. Thus, I am sure that other people in different situations would have learned very different things from my horses. I am looking forward to reading other people's lessons and influences from their horses. :f:


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 01, 2014 8:15 pm 
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Romy, thank you so much for your detailed answer! It helps me a lot :kiss: .

Quote:
First, there are some general things, like being solution-oriented instead of focusing on problems, and adopting a positive, benevolent attitude towards others.

These things I am also learning from horses, and I say "learning" because I think that I have just an idea which kind of person I could be and how I could behave but at this time I still sometimes behave the other way around, correcting "wrong" actions of a horse, having a negative attitude towards others. The interesting thing is, that this is also something I learned in the context of horses - but I learned it from humans.

The most important thing horses taught me is to even think about my interaction with others because with them, no matter what I did, if it was riding or groundwork, the focus was always on communication and understanding of each other. The goal was to tell them what I want in a way they can understand. Within time this changed into the goal to understand the horse, what the horse wants to tell me because I never really felt happy just because the horse did what I wanted.

What was a bit like an epiphany to me was to understand that I don't have to change or to "train" others and that I'm not even able to do this because it will never satisfy me. Instead I can use my own behavior and change it, so that the behavior of the other person automatically changes too. Formerly I told the horses "I want you to be like this." or "I want you to do that." and very important: "Don't do that!". Now I am trying more and more not to "speak" about the horse I'm communicating with but instead I am trying to make suggestions e.g. "I would like to go there, do you want to come with me?" and "That looks interesting, should we explore it?". And I also listen to these suggestions from the horse.

There was one very memorable evening I spent with the old mare I took care of for three years - Fa-Iba. It was dark and cold and I was just finished with grooming her. I put the rope around her neck as I used to do because she never seemed curious enough to go away from me.
At this time I had worked with clicker training with her for about one year but we didn't make much progress. Instead she just did what I had in mind, rarely ever making any own suggestions. That made me sad because she didn't look happy when we spent time together and I did not knew how to find out what she liked.
But that evening she suddenly made one step away from me. And another step. I rewarded her and waited again. She went towards a tractor. With my body language I asked her to stop. Immediately she did it, looked at me with a calm and pleased expression. She got a treat and then she went on. Together we walked around the yard, visiting the other horses, searching for some hay, exploring the machines. All the time she was in front of me, I just followed her. The connection we had was strong. I could whisper her name or invite her to come a step into my direction or ask her to stop - she would do it. It was the first time I really listened to a horse, the first time that I really understood what Fa-Iba wanted to do. It felt wonderful, this horse that always did what humans expected, walking with me, being brave enough to do what she wanted too.
To everybody else it must have looked boring, but of all the moments we shared this is the one I remember most.

Fa-Iba taught me that it feels great if both partners enjoy the interaction and feel free to do what they want to do but at the same time being aware of the limits of each other e.g. that I needed to know that she would listen to me so that I could feel save while setting her free. Because of her the desire to have others enjoy the interaction with me appeared. And so did the desire to make the horses and especially Fa-Iba blithely.
From her I learned that sometimes changes really take their time and that I should give others and myself too the time to overcome old habits and to develop new trust, courage or another attitude or what ever it is that we need. We won't get there faster with impatience.

But there were many more horses in my life from which I learned useful lesson.

Ramira was a big brown mare in the riding school. All the other horses could be controlled with psychological force. The horses were never beaten but the pupils learned to use emotional pressure to make the horses do what the rider wants. But Ramira was a lady - it never worked with her. You could sit on her back, screaming at her, being angry - a procedure that worked with all the other horses. She would just plant her feet firmly on the ground and if you annoyed her to much she would bite your leg.
What did she wanted the riders to do? She wanted them to be friendly. You could easily say "Come on Ramira, lets go!" with a motivating and alacritous voice, smile while you are saying it and being appreciative that such a great horse carries you. She would do whatever you ask her for.

Ramira showed me how easy it is to let others feel that I respect them and that it motivates others when I am motivated.

I think I could go on writing like this for the whole night, but maybe I should rather stop here and finish it another day when I'm less tired, if you are interested in hearing more ;) .


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 01, 2014 8:31 pm 
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Intetesting what you two are writing down here!

Romy, when I met you at your place I notived how your behaviour changed towards the horses. With Titum for example you had that softness and warmth, with Summy a certain kind of childish power and with Baca I sensed that you felt really wild and free... I think that's really interesting, because it shows how the horses influence you and in this way how you influence them. And because of that, I'm absolutely convinced that they touched and changed your whole personality. Really great :clap:

Anni, me personally, I'd love to read more, you know :kiss:
Maybe I could translate my german post about this topic and put it in here, if anybody wants to? ;)


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 01, 2014 11:20 pm 
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Anni wrote:
I think I could go on writing like this for the whole night, but maybe I should rather stop here and finish it another day when I'm less tired, if you are interested in hearing more ;) .


Yes, please do continue later, it's very interesting to read and I feel similarly about many things you wrote. And Jana, I'd also love to read your thoughts. By the way, beautiful new avatars, both of you! :)

Katja1 wrote:
Romy, when I met you at your place I noticed how your behaviour changed towards the horses.


Yes, I have noticed this as well many times. Actually I think it's quite normal for the interaction dynamics to change depending on the partner you are interacting with. I was discussing this with Lena some time ago, because she said she had a colleague who was dishonest, behaving in very different ways when interacting with different people. And whereas I think that it is certainly possible to be dishonest, I do not think that this is a necessary or generally valid explanation for behavioural changes when interacting with different people. Actually, given that conversation largely relies on interactive alignment (coordinating your behaviour with that of others so that you behave in similar or complementary ways), I am wondering to what degree it is possible to truly interact with someone and not adapt to him. I guess for me this would only work if I created a strong barrier around myself that is preventing these influences - something you often see with teachers or adults talking to children, or bosses talking to their employees, or in other "official" conversations. This often gives me the feeling that the person is not really talking with the other one but talking to him, while being immune to being talked to himself. I don't like it at all when someone is doing that with me, because it makes me feel as if he wasn't there actually but merely playing a program on me.

By the way, I was just thinking about another important lesson that I am learning from horses: That liberty does not automatically translate to freedom. In another forum someone has a signature saying something like "If you remove the rope, only the truth remains." Of course I do not know what she means by "the truth", but for me it is not possible to say that when a horse is not physically fixed, he is free and all his behaviour will only depend on his wish to interact with me - just as it is not possible to say that if a human is not literally forced, he is free. I often see the human analogue with a friend of mine who has several employees and is convinced that he is giving them lots of freedom, because he says that they should tell him what they think and make decisions by themselves. However, I have seen some of the conversations between him and them and also talked to some of them (because we are doing projects together). Well, at least some of them feel an enormous pressure from him, because whereas he says they are free, he can have a quite discouraging and destructive expression when he does not like the choices they make. And then of course this puts them under additional pressure, because they do not only have to decide what to do but also find out in what situations he actually means that they are free and in what situations they should rather do what they think he wants them to do - and as he does not say this (because after all they are free ;)), it's extra difficult for them.

I am very thankful to my horses, because from them I have learned how easy it is to make myself believe that they are free while actually I am (or was) putting quite some psychological pressure on them. They have taught me how easy it is to influence someone simply by the way you are communicating something, or not even actively communicating but just having a certain expression. To learn that, I needed both, horses like Titum who I can get under my influence ever so easily and then they seem to be choosing freely although in fact they are only being obedient, and also horses like Pia for whom my psychological pressure just does not work. The Titums teach me how strong the influence actually is, whereas the Pias teach me that it is there in the first place, because with them the faked free choice does not work, and so I can see what would remain if I left it away.

This is important for me, because I do have that tendency of being manipulative. Not intentionally, but just by having quite strong opinions about the way I think things should go, and then not being able to keep them from being poured on the other person, even when I do not mean to do this. Therefore, the horses are teaching me that when I tell someone he is free, I must not only say this but make myself really feel it - otherwise I can just as well leave the rope on (literally or figuratively) and this would be a more easy and clear situation for the other one than the pseudo freedom that is creating an additional need to guess what I want and how urgently I want it.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2014 3:03 pm 
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Very interesting, here....

One of the main things, I learned through Zermi (amongst many others):

He was somehow very insecure, when I first met him, though he was an impressing character. So, when I changed my training system, I started to show him, that he is ok, whatever he does. I supported all of his decisions and he learned, that he can t do anything wrong in our interaction and that whatever he does won t keep me from loving him. It took me some time of working like this with Zermi, to realize, that I learned as a kid from my parents, that I am not ok, the way I am. I also learned, that most of my decisions and behaviour was wrong. So I realized, that I judge myself all the time in a rather destructive way. Through my interaction with Zermi, I learned, that I have to do the same thing with myself, that I do with him. I started to tell myself, that I am ok, the way I am. So things changed slowly. It is still very difficult for me, especially in extreme situations, though and then I often still fall into old patterns. But I keep going on. After a while, I found out, that I often didn t show other people, that they are ok, the way they are. I even couldn t, if I found them brilliant. That is reasonable, because I didn t accept myself. Now, I am working also on this theme.

:sun:


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2014 3:24 pm 
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Yogini wrote:
I realized, that I judge myself all the time in a rather destructive way. Through my interaction with Zermi, I learned, that I have to do the same thing with myself, that I do with him.

This is really interesting and I love this conclusion you made out of Zermi's and your interaction. I absolutely agree with you on this, for me it is like this as well. I'm often really cruel to myself and often I notice that I'm talking to myself in a way, I really NEVER would talk with anyone else.
Rather stupid..
So I began, as you, to work on this and my little Prince is a great help , because he shows me everytime I see him, that yes, I'm great and yes, I'm adorable just in the way I am.
And so are you and anybody else
:sun:


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:32 pm 
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I absolutely have to say that horses changed my personality a lot. About what exactly they have changed, I have to think a little longer. In the first place, there are concrete situations in my mind. Moments, I would call magical. But not "magical" in an esoterical way but more in the sense of experiences that opend my mind, that let my heart become a little warmer and our relation a little bit deeper. The ones that create a strong bond and appreciation for the other.

There were meetings with the vet that we managed together though I couldn't even say whom of us was more scared. There were walks, where our both hearts were beating and from which we came home as brave explorers. And there were these silent moments, just standing together, head by head and being happy. I think the strongest feeling I have while being with Nathan is this absolute, but lighthearted presence. The feeling of living right now and to be able to spend this moment however I want. No matter if its something active, like running or playing, or if its passive, like standing and just watch the nature, feeling that the world is getting more silent and intense. This gift of being allowed to behave just the way I feel and want to, I never experienced it before being with Nathan or horses in general. Just as the feeling of never being exposed this fast, while I'm trying to pretend something.

The special thing about this is, that one can think that he is especialle vulnerable in these moments of putting down the masks of yourself. But I experienced, that the opposite is right. The horses don't only accept you in this way, no, the often even support you in doing it.

With Nathan e.g. I noticed that whenever I was scared (like as I told you, the vet situation) he played the opposite part and was sort of strong for both of us. This gave me so many confidence in us and the situation we're in, that I could be strong again myself.And often it was exactly the other way round. When he was scared, I gave him whatever he needed, freedom, confidence, calmness or motivation. And sometimes just a different situation.

I guess this is a bit like two poles. If one changes, the other follows or begins to do the opposite. The feeling for when which one of these actions is necessary comes up from simply trying it, always in the confidence that the partner only wants to contribute the best he can give in this moment. And yet this comes from the attitude that the horse is an independent being who is free to take any choice he wants and take over the control anytime he wants to. I guess that this is the reason, why the motivation of contributing is so high. As social animals, both human and horse, we are eager on harmony and a nicely flowing interaction, When the horse feels free and independent, he can take the choice for himself and then, as I noticed many times, the choice of them is to be willing to get the interaction as harmonious as possible.

Often there came up situations when none of us could or wanted take over the strong part. This happened for example in the time when it thought that lunging him would be necessary for his body would stay strong and healthy. But while we were doing this I felt uncomfortable and he was bored or even scared. This was when we realized mutually that this couldn't be the right thing for us. So we kicked this out and started just running wild and freely. And now I got a fit and happy pony with no physical problems.

This mutual perception and reaction to it paired with the constant acceptance of my person had changed myself a lot. On one hand it took me away the right to decide over anyone and on the other hand it gave me back the joy of being and deciding together. I was no longer alone with myself, I discovered the luck of just going into the pasture and saying "Hey, little Prince. What do we do today?" instead of saying: "Okay, here's the plan. Today we do..."

Of course this had an influence on the rest of my life, too. I'm a person who likes being surrounded by others but for a long time I thought that I had to behave in a specific way to please others. In the company of Nathan and other horses I learned that I'm adorable and fine, just in the way I am. I began to realize, that a good relation isn't composed of partners who have to change themselves to make the other happy.In fact it is about showing mutual respect and appreciating the other - and then using all the skills and characteristics of the partners to make the time they spend together pleasant and harmonious. I learned thinking in this pattern not only with horses, but also with humans. I thought no longer that I had to be someone special to be liked, but instead I already AM adorable and I'm showing the other person that so is he/ she, too.

In addition to that, I became more present through being with horses. They taught me that the fear of future just can't come up, when you're able to proof yourself that already right now you've got all the power and skills to have a succesful and joyful life. Everytime I doubt that I'm having this power, my little prince supported me by showing me, what beautiful things we already reached and that I never should give up on me, because I can do anything I really want to.

Thank you, Nathan, for teaching me this.
:sun:


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2014 7:15 pm 
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Sorry for bad quality but i write from my tiny mobile...
Jana I can relate completely to what you wrote. Very beautiful. I especially had to laugh about the lunging part. Yesterday a woman asked me why i am not lunging zermi. When i talked about stress versus joy and playfull Training she reacted as if it is not about joy but aboutt work. But it didn t convince me and i think even not herself ... sorry i lost track.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 8:17 pm 
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Quote:
Therefore, the horses are teaching me that when I tell someone he is free, I must not only say this but make myself really feel it - otherwise I can just as well leave the rope on (literally or figuratively) and this would be a more easy and clear situation for the other one than the pseudo freedom that is creating an additional need to guess what I want and how urgently I want it.


That's an interesting thought! I think there are many cases I imposed my will on others especially on the horses just because I had in mind what I wanted to do with them and how our time should look like. They couldn't influence our time as much as I thought they could. I was so distracted with my own thoughts that I didn't even hear when they made a suggestion.

So, when is it freedom and when is it only liberty?

There are always some boundaries that prevent us from being able to do everything we may imagine, not only in civilisation but also in nature. I think it's natural for living beings to act within these borders. Thus, we can feel free even though we can't do anything we want.

In the context of horses I want them to know that they can choose what they want and that they can feel comfortable and safe with every decision they can make. So, it does not depend on my judgement.
But then there are situations in which I HAVE to judge because of the borders e.g. when the horses wants to step on the busy road. That's where freedom ends. Therefore the horses should know exactly in which situations they are totally free to decide and that they won't here a "No" or anything negative from me and in which situations I need them to do what I think is secure for us.
I don't know yet how I have to act and feel about the things we do together so that they feel good in both situations. Would be nice to hear what you think about it?

Quote:
It is still very difficult for me, especially in extreme situations, though and then I often still fall into old patterns. But I keep going on. After a while, I found out, that I often didn t show other people, that they are ok, the way they are. I even couldn t, if I found them brilliant. That is reasonable, because I didn t accept myself. Now, I am working also on this theme.

I have made similar experiences.
A few days ago I had the perception that I often prejudice about others, also horses, although I know almost nothing about them. That was when a friend of my sister talked to me. She told me about personal thoughts and experiences. After that I thought that she really was an interesting character whereas before I thought that she doesn't seem interesting to me at all. I must have been mistaken so often and that is really sad because rational I am sure that every human an horse has interesting stories to tell, therefore everyone is interesting. Now I try to stay open-minded so that I not blind for all the interesting personalities out there.

Jana, there are many aspects in your posts I haven't experienced. This makes it so interesting for me to read - thank you! :kiss:


Now back to the horses that changed my personality:

Cindy is a very little Shetland Pony, that's why the first thought everyone has about her is "Ohhh, is she cute!!!"
I never thought about her like this. To me she always seemed to be so independent. She would challenge horses that weighted six times as much as she did and she were able to drive them away even though she had to do it again and again. When she didn't want to be with me anymore she would just go away. She got never tired telling me that she does not like it to be groomed.
I always wanted her to love me.
I was never sure how she felt when I visited her. There were times she seemed to be interested in what we did and when I came back from a week of vacation she would not look at me. I had the feeling that she wanted to tell me that she does not need me and does not care about if I visit her or not but at the same time she seemed to be a bit sad that I "forgot" her.
So, I was never sure if she liked me or not and within time that got irrelevant for me. It got irrelevant because she showed me that she liked spending time with me. She came to the fence when I came to take her out whereas the first times she ran away when I wanted to put the halter on her. It got irrelevant because she seemed too strong to be one of the horses that would do everything for you, that really need to spend time with their humans. I realised that she did not need me but nevertheless she shared her time with me.
Thus, the desire of being loved by the horses changed into gratitude for them sharing their time with me.

My attitude changed from being demanding (even if it was just my desire to be loved) to being happy with what I get and that was only because I changed my point of view. Whereas before I concentrated on what I didn't had now I concentrate on what I have and often I realise how much that is.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 8:34 pm 
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Very very nice conclusion!
The same thoughts I found just minutes ago while reading in this mental&emotional connection topic. Someone (I don't remember who :blush: ) also said, that a good relationshio isn't based on partners that are suiting perfectly for each other but on using the given personality, environment and skills to get the best as possible out of it. And this is exactly what you write here: being satisfied with what already is there, not what could or should be there.
I also experienced that I must have made a big change when we were discussing yesterday, because I realized that I do not longer judge people but stay open and interested in them, even when they are not exactly my personal type of humans to be with. And of course to show them, that I think they're precious and perfect in the way they are...
Was nice to realize this, thanks for that :kiss:


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 12:26 pm 
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Nice topic! It's interesting to have it condensed in one thread, what is otherwise spread over all those diary pages...

For me, horses (and especially having my own horse), changed so much. I never had a pet, or any kind of relation to an animal before. I also had a hard time expressing emotions in front of other people. The main value I upheld before was being intellectual and rational.

When my girlfriend introduced me to horses at the age of 31, I was hooked pretty much right from the start. I couldn't name it yet, but I had that gut feeling that it was something special and very important.
Since then, my view on life changed considerably. I definitely opened up to people.
I learned how to be childish again and not be ashamed for it. I learned how to show love for someone and not feel weird about it.
I also reconnected with nature again. I guess you could say that I learned to be spiritual of some sort.
I started doing Yoga and reconnected with my body again. I learned how to mediate in motion.
I finally started to feel capable of being a good father.
I experienced what it means to be in harmonious flow with another being.
I believe I even had a glimpse of what life is all about... :)

So if you ask me how horses influence my self-development, I would say that they are a catalyst to a change that was slumbering within me, but would otherwise have taken decades to happen. :f:

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The horse owes us nothing.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 12:10 pm 
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Very beautiful Volker...

I have found another theme in my life, which Zermi has influenced a lot.
By occupying myself with offering Zermi a life as natural and healthy as possible, I learned a lot about healthy and natural feeding and keeping. Through this, I had to learn, that less is more in many cases and that it is important to knowingly handle relevant topics. I learned to search for reasons instead of just caring for symptoms. I also learned, that Zermi intuitively heals himself (he has got a great immune system) and does indeed need less, than the equestrian industry wants to sell to me...
This brought me to the tendency of "feeding and keeping" myself as healthy and natural as possible as well. I started to scrutinise, what seems so normal for humans daily life. And I started to reduce...:
Now, I collect herbs for salad and cooking and I started to buy less packed or ready food and more fresh vegetables. I mainly drink tap water and teas. My new landlords are already wondering, how little garbadge I produce. I also don t use cremes for my face anymore, because my skin is able to produce fat and keep water, and if not, I have to search for reasons and change my drinking and eating habbits. Rarely I use some oil, if my skin is wound. I also reduced cleaning products and use olive soap for most of the household (my olive oil soap has no packing) and my body (not the sensitive parts though like around the eyes f.e., there I just use water, if possible). Strong dirt in the household and washing can be managed by baking soda (which my teeth and my teethridge also love.) So I don t buy all these expensive and overstuffed products anymore. That ist very interesting and it feels much more healthy. I even can feel, that my quality of life has been raised. And still life became so much more cheap since I changed my household. And also I don t take part in the consumption terror of our crazy society, anymore. In the beginning I thought, that I have to buy something and I even think it was the act of buying something, that I was missing. In the meantime, I don t miss anything, I rather feel relieved, when I see people with big bags full of stuff, that I perceive as useless.
:hap:

I guess it is in this case the same with me:
Quote:
So if you ask me how horses influence my self-development, I would say that they are a catalyst to a change that was slumbering within me, but would otherwise have taken decades to happen. :f:


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