The Art of Natural Dressage

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 3:42 pm 
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Location: Natal, South Africa
Carrie,

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Although, I had also suggested methodical , patterned movement and just basically behaving steady and calm and just doing the patterned things that Glen normally does with Freckles,

Basically to have her be the reliably safe and consistent place.


I have been doing that, as well. Lots of stroking and mane and tail brushing. Lot's of wandering around doing nothing in particular. A few very short "training sessions" focussing on those things I know he is very succesful with.

So I guess that I'll now receive many more leg-lifts than I want, but at least they'll be higher and held for longer! So it's all good. I hope he doesn't return to offering leg-lifts under saddle though. :lol:

Quote:
In my family, particularly from my Dad and then my Grandfather; we make jokes and talk about the one we lost and all of the funny things that they did.


I have learned that many people get extremely disturbed when I speak of the dead as if they're still here, because according to them I'm morbid! But to me my dead are still here. I can close my eyes and hear them, see them, smell them. I can ask them things and "they" will answer. I regularly hear my Mom say "You clot! Why on earth did you do that?" for example. Every now and then I tell them things.

Perhaps it's because for my first "big loss" I had to figure it out alone. I did ask once where and why my biggest brother (dad) had left me, and was told to stop being silly as he hadn't! I never mentioned him again for 6 years, but I did "force" my parents to place me in a Boarding School with a carefully planned and executed variety of conciously rebellious behaviour.

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Glen Grobler

Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled. Anon


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 7:43 pm 

Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2008 4:54 pm
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Location: USA Michigan
Hi Glen, I think it is just wonderful the way you are with your boy.

I just really hadn't thought that by being rhythmical etc. that you were showing him
" how to handle " Prince 's absence.

But, this sure does make sense.

If you only knew what the crazy thing was that had my family laughing in the funeral home, everyone would think I was morbid.

I talk to my buddies all the time. Animal and human that have crossed from this reality.
I just know they hear me,

I also have smelled them, seen them at times, sensed them and have had uncanny things come up.

I guess I am NUTS. At least I know I am not the only one :lol:

I started teaching Sid to target his front feet and his hind.
I saw him practicing on his own in the pasture....
with the salt block.

The snow has melted and now we are in the mud season. I had to keep the horses in for a couple days, they were full of it. I let each out in the arena to stretch their legs.

When it was Sids turn, he went running to the horse toy box. Grabbed the station, grabbed the hula hoops pulled them out into the arena...put the hula hoop over the station, then tried to target the station, which he broke.
Then he started targeting the broken pieces with his feet. OH my goodness......

Also, at the moment, the little man loves lateral movement......he is coming up with own... :lol:
He looks like a cat skittering sideways when he plays with the other horses. He is doing a full pass. He is toooo dang funny. I will see if I can get some video of him doing his own thing.
He is so silly.

Merlin, who I taught to retrieve 10 or 12 years ago, I cannot even remember now. To this day loves to retrieve.
I have been doing wild games with him to get him moving. He loves it, but it isn't real wild.

Well, yesterday, he did a retrieve that I hadn't requested, so I didn't reinforce it, just said oh that's nice......he was mad at me.
He picked up a bucket and threw it at me.

I just told him that he was crazier than me if he thought I was going to reward that little outburst.. :lol: I waited a minute or so then asked for polite, he responded and then I rewarded him for that.....he is a goofus too!!!

They all have their own personality and charm.
For those of us who really love the horse, our horses bring us what our spirit needs. I truly believe this.

Carrie

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Force no matter how well disguised begets resistance.
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 3:00 am 
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Location: Taiwan, via NZ
Glen, :lol: So you went through a period of increased balky behavior too! :lol: You must be able to really empathise with your horse. :D

I can so relate to what you're saying. My big brother was sixteen years older than me, and he was my hero. My dad, and my mum, were both emotionally distant (on a good day). After the big silence following my brothers death, all sorts of things changed... but I certainly entered into my "balky" period, which lasted for about seven years and was nearly the end of me. :? My children, like yours, are brought up with lots of openess, and full place in all family rituals and communication. I hope they can avoid that kind of stress.

Funnily, it was actually that event that gave me the horses.. although I didn't realize this till my mum told me just recently. Now in retrospect I can see it's true. After my brother died, and all was silent and drear in the house, my mother saved up some money (not easy) to send me and my sister to a horse hire place for my dream ride as she wanted to get us out of the house and give us something else to think about. (Well that worked. :lol: ) The man who ran the place was very kind, saw that I had a way with horses, allowed me to keep going there every weekend for free to ride, in exchange for working with a couple of "troubled" ponies that weren't suitable for hire. A couple of months later, with the exchange of 100 dollars, I took one home! Later I ended up with the free lease of his ex-champion pacer, Lyrical Hal as well.. And the rest is history.


Was the horse that died the Appaloosa you talked about?

Cheers,
Sue

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I have not sought the horse of bits, bridles, saddles and shackles,
But the horse of the wind, the horse of freedom, the horse of the dream. [Robert Vavra]


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 5:44 am 
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Location: Natal, South Africa
Carrie

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I guess I am NUTS. At least I know I am not the only one


In the first couple of years I was married my poor husband had to learn to cope with wierd stuff that had never previously been part of his frame of reference. Like I'd tell him "the phone's gonna ring soon and I refuse to answer 'cos it's my Dad and he's peeved. Tell him I'm not here and I'll call back tomorrow" and it would happen exactly like that. Or I'd tell him "You'd better phone your buddy Steve 'cos he's got trouble and needs a friend." He learned to pay close attention to me when I was feeling "hinky."

More than once it was very protective. One time I told him "Something bad's gonna happen in the next couple of days and it related to hydrocarbons." Well, his jaw dropped. He'd been invited to join a trip to witness the hand over to the client of an oil-rig that had just been built, and was gonna invite me and the kids. He didn't go. There was an explosion on the rig on the day we would have been there!

Quote:
I saw him practicing on his own in the pasture....
with the salt block.


I am having problems "teaching" or encouraging Freckles to be spontaneous and/or energetic. He most definately only "works" for food. He'll put in more effort if I ask, but only when he knows there is food coming. Also, he seems to "need" to be touched and manipulated to understand how I'm asking him to move.

He still hasn't displayed much emotion, but I'm seeing more "???" when he looks at me, so I'm probably on the right track. I think he suppresses even more than me!

Quote:
For those of us who really love the horse, our horses bring us what our spirit needs.


Perhaps that's why he's with me - we can learn to "let it all hang out" more often together! :lol:

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Glen Grobler



Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled. Anon


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 5:50 am 
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danceswithmanypets wrote:

...

When my grandfather passed away, after a very long illness ( in which he kept his sense of humor to the end ) After the sobbing, at the funeral home,
wouldn't ya know it, something really absurd and silly comes up to make the funeral service/memorial really silly.

Laughing made the time sitting in the funeral home bearable and gave us all the feeling that Grampa was with us.

Although others found our laughter disturbing :shock:

Although, I of course wonder where does one go,
this concept does make more sense....

How everyone around us behaves affects the way we will manage or deal with grief and loss.
Loss is stressful regardless of how it is dealt with but surely it is more confusing and unsettling if we are looking for guidance from " a leader " and that one is either not recognizing that we need guidance or
acting so out of character and others in our group are also behaving out of norm

it would make things even more confusing and stressful.


I knew that Freckles would do as he did. That is the surprise I suggested Glen would experience.

Animals can teach us a great deal about dealing with loss.

And the laughter? Really now, why IS it that people do not get that our perception of death is the greatest of cosmic jokes.

Of course it's laughable. Your grandfather was there in you, and your family, all the while some were convinced he was "gone," and that you should "let go."

How droll. How silly. How laughable.

And we cannot feel our sorrow fully unless we feel our joy fully.

Hiding from either means hiding from both.

Upon the event of death, as we witness it happening to others we are about as close to understanding the universe as we can get, until we die.

No wonder we laugh. It's a natural reaction to the awe that comes over us as we realize something quite profound, something too true to deny.

What?

I'm not going to say.

But I am laughing about it.

Donald

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Love is Trust, trust is All
~~~~~~~~~
So say Don, Altea, and Bonnie the Wonder Filly.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 6:07 am 
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Sue,

:lol: I never thought of it as my own "balky" period before, but that's very apt! It took 20 years for me to sort out most of what went wrong at that time, and two of my siblings still refuse to "see" - oh well, at least the other two are wonderful!

I had been introduced to horses before all this happened, and my Dad agreed to pay for me to ride, as long as I gave up my dancing. I think that's what started the issues with my Mom, as in her time she had been Open Champion for 5 years running in that style of dancing, and she was so happy when I showed an interest and considerable talent, then I dumped it for horses - so maybe I stomped on her dreams.

Hahaha, it sure taught me to foster my kids interests, and not try to impose on them activities that I felt were significant!

Quote:
Was the horse that died the Appaloosa you talked about?


No, this was a 25 year old TB that was a champion dressage horse in his day. He was fit, fat and sassy but sadly only had 10% vision left in one eye. He "knew" his way around the yard well enough to canter around as if he could see properly, though! Also, he could see pale things or moving things quite easily.

The little Appy is still hanging in there, and I have managed to persuade his owners to start him on the 3 specific supplements that Miriam named for me, which they are currently trying to locate. Also, they are now grooming him and cuddling him daily, where before they would just talk to him in passing. You see, I started cuddling him and they asked me why, and I told them I felt sorry for him 'cos nobody except me fed him treats or laid hands on him, except the grooms. Then he started whuffling to me when he saw me, just like Freckles. Now they give him as much attention as their "riding horse" gets :lol: 8)

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Glen Grobler



Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled. Anon


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 6:10 am 
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Donald,

I know that dead is not "gone", but I'm not sure what dead "is" - is that the secret you refer to?

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Glen Grobler



Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled. Anon


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 10:01 am 
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Location: Taiwan, via NZ
Oh, wonderful news about the appy Glen! Well done!

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I have not sought the horse of bits, bridles, saddles and shackles,

But the horse of the wind, the horse of freedom, the horse of the dream. [Robert Vavra]


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 11:26 am 
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:oops: Thanks, Sue.

I'm not sure of what's happening in this yard - when I started taking lessons there in September last year, there were 2 horses that were isolated in paddocks (well, more like big picaderos) because they are dominant and no-one wants their equine kicked by them. Then there was a pair in another picadero, and another pair in the next one. Then the 3 TB's in a bigger paddock, then a SaddlerX and the old Appy together, and the rest of the ponies together.

Now, the dominant mare is with the ponies, and the dominant gelding is with the TB's and Freckles, and the 2 pairs are also with the ponies. Oh, and there's a "new" dominant gelding who has joined the old Appy and the SaddlerX.

So, no more isolated equines! YAY! But we do have to bring the more dominant ones to their stalls at lunch-time!

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Glen Grobler



Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled. Anon


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 2:48 pm 
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Glen Grobler wrote:
Donald,

I know that dead is not "gone", but I'm not sure what dead "is" - is that the secret you refer to?


Maybe. :)

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Love is Trust, trust is All
~~~~~~~~~
So say Don, Altea, and Bonnie the Wonder Filly.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 4:13 pm 
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Oh, pooh! And a big fat rasberry to you! :lol:

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Glen Grobler



Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled. Anon


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