The Art of Natural Dressage

Hi all:

I was just posting something to Annaliese, and it sparked a thought.

(As my mother says, holding her head, "I had a thought. And it hurt.")



I have found that a very important part of my process with AND with my two horses so far has been "undoing" and "unlearning."

For us, anyway, we've had something of a return to square one on a lot of pieces of our training. I've needed to rethink how I approach things, "unlearning" old expectations and tools, and my horses (especially Stardust) have needed me to help them "undo" the past, so they can "unlearn" their expectations. Much of this has needed to happen before we could begin to do and learn again with any speed, at least specific with movement/excercises/challenges.

This has been a fascinating aspect of our work and play together, but also, at times, a very frustrating one, as I've been forced to let go of some of the things that we did quite well under a different paradigm.

There have been moments, as I said to Annaliese, where I feel like we've been peeling away the things we can do together, until the point where I've wondered (only half jokingly) that we will soon end up at a point where the only thing I do well with them is to throw hay into them!

This may very well not be everyone's experience, but I'm guessing I'm not alone, either.

And I think it's worth discussing because:

• Taking the time to do this "undoing" has been, for us, key in redefining how we interact. It matters that my intentions are different, but it matters just as much, if not more, that I've taken the time to prove, through my actions, that my intentions are different. My horses have proven themselves to be the arbiters of when this actually shifts -- I have not been able to make that decision for them, or rush through the process of building their trust about it.

• This time takes a LOT longer than I would have anticipated before I began! And it accordingly has taken, at least for me, a continual re-commitment to patience and to the process.

• It also has forced me to take a good, hard look at my ego about all of this, and where those needs to be "succeed" come from.

• This community has been invaluable to me for this process, because I'm not getting support in it anywhere else -- while most of the people I see at my boarding facility are nice enough not to editorialize at this point (and some are intrigued), there isn't anyone who's actually engaging in a similar enough process to be a source of wisdom, energy, and compassion when I get frustrated.

So, for example, I have barely ridden either of my horses since April, when I joined the forum. I've not done so because I've lost interest in riding (far from it!!!), or because I've come to believe that riding isn't a good thing for any of us, but because I've needed to give all of us the time to redefine, truly and deeply, what riding can be about.

There are moments when I'm really at ease with this, knowing that we are moving forward, building trust and physical capabilities from the ground. And there are moments when I get so frustrated with this I can't see straight!

But I've learned that when I try to push too hard, too fast, we crash and burn almost immediately, and I can quickly undo weeks, if not months, of "unlearning." (Again, especially with Stardust -- Circe's much more resilient.)

I think my experience of this is longer and bigger than many because Stardust has come to me with such a hard history -- and I'm guessing my version of this with him is more echoed by those here who are working with horses who come from trauma than those who have innately happy horses! But I'm also guessing that many of us have our own version of this phase...

So, I guess I just wanted to say out loud (to myself, as much as anything! ) that it's okay to have moments where you feel like all you've gone is backwards, and it's okay to be frustrated by that, and that it doesn't mean that that's where you'll land forever.

Anybody else working through this?


Leigh

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"Ours is the portal of hope. Come as you are." -- Rumi
www.imaginalinstitute.com

i love this post!!! i know exactly what you are saying. i have been doing this for a number of years. even though i LOVED dressage for a number of years, i realised that the force i felt i was applying was not OK with me! so i stopped. this is one of the big reasons i moved to the country. there i did not have the pressure to "perform" so i was able to spend alot of time just "un-doing" i felt very frustrated for a long time. because i was finding that i was teaching children, and they were going forward, but i was still "un-learning habbit!" even though i knew what i was teaching and i could see the way to do it and i FELT the right way, for some reason my body wanted to do it the way it had for years. i had to pretty much stop riding all together for quite a time!

i had days where i was so frustrated because i missed the wonderful feeling of riding in what i used to think was "harmony" i would get depressed, and just want to give up all together. but horses are in my veins, and i know that my search for a better way would lead me to the right place.

i spent so many years learning from the horses that i used to think I WAS TEACHING. it was a slow process, but i started to learn what i had known when i was a child. i started to remember, and re-gain my sea-legs! i bought DVD after DVD, and book after book. i started to go out and watch many demonstrations, and listen and watch.

i was on ebay one night and found a DVD by AN. mum bought it. (i was broke) and we were amazed. WOW, YOU REALLY CAN STILL DO DRESSAGE WITHOUT COMPRIMISING THE RELATIONSHIP OR USING FORCE!!!! i was so happy and excited. i straightaway joined his forum and began to post.

my experience there was not exactly great. i met some wonderful people, and ended up being guided to here, so it was worth it!!!!!

i have found now, that i am at a point that i have un-learnt most things. i feel like the child learning again. i feel like a blank canvas that my horse is painting with vivid color! it is a beautiful experience, and i am finding that i am now progressing so fast, that i could not have "trained" so much to my horse even if i had continued all those years till now!

i think it is the "tortoise and the haire" this way felt like the slowest, as it was "doing nothing" for so long, but once the penny dropped.....it was amazingly fast!!!!! i am thrilled with how far i have come, and i realise that i have so far to go still. so this is an exciting time for me.

please know that the frustration is felt by me too, and i have people telling me all the time that i am waisting my horses just playing on the ground. but now they will see the results. i have not waisted a second, and i am so happy now, and that feeling of being "one with the horse" is amazing!!!!

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just keep swimming, quote from nemo!:)
love jessy

I've only been riding for 4 years now and never had any competitive ambitions (I'm too lazy for that ). When I started I had already spent about 20 years learning and unlearning with training dogs and cats. I knew I wanted to do it "right" from the start. So I tried to read and watch "everything" about different riding disciplines, took lessons from at least 8 different instructors, audited many clinics by very well known trainers, trying very hard to not learn stuff that I would have to unlearn. Well, you can guess what happened. Everyone taught me something (sometimes big, sometimes small) that I still hold on to today. Most of these people have a very sincere desire to help horses and to help their owners and they do the best they know. But everywhere I learned, I also picked up some stuff that I wish now had not been part of the package, either because it was incorrect information or because bad habits in riding and horse handling were allowed to develop. I remember now describing this briefly in my introduction on the NHE forum. I learned about the classical seat from dressage, I learned not to pull on the reins from Western Riding, I learned to read the horse's body language from Natural Horsemanship, I learned about passive leadership from Mark Rashid and I learned how to relax on a horse from my daughter. Finally I learned from NHE that horses can learn to collect without a bit. I was looking everywhere to find the perfect method, because it would be so much easier to just go to one source to learn. But noone has all the pieces of the puzzle. My horse has more than most people. You all have some pieces and are willing to share them freely. Since we all will end up with different pictures when the puzzle is done, we all need different pieces.
Every day is a new day, I think I will continue to make mistakes and have to unlearn even on AND, although I hope they will get smaller over time.
Just today I reread two dressage books that had been collecting dust on the shelf for a while. Sylvia Loch's Dressage in Lightness and Jane Savoie's Crosstrain your Horse. I especially looked at the pictures and realized that if I had to use a bit or even a bitless bridle to teach my horse to collect I might never develop enough skill to get the job done. Whole books are written just on how to half-halt correctly with a bit. Even if bits were not at all painful or unkind to the horse they would not be the easiest way to teach a horse.
So even if I had to start at ground zero today, with positive reinforcement I know for certain (from my experiences with dogs) that I can reach my goal: Riding a well-balanced, and therefore healthier, horse that might still be sound in her thirties and that enjoys being with me. Maybe I'll have to unlearn again next month, but that's ok, I've saved so much time not having to learn how to do it all well with a bit.

I was lucky in a round about way because my horse had back troubles so I was forced to relearn how to be with him on the ground. I had to learn/undo/unlearn? to release the need to ride, and schoo, and do, with my horse so I could focus on other forms of togetherness. I learnt from many sources, much like everyone else here, about many different things. I never lost sight of the need of my soul to ride, but I found from all the not-doing on the ground that riding was suddenly much, much easier, as my horse was more in tune with me, I already had my horse suppled and balanced before I ever got on. I had to actually do less not more to ride well. That is still a bit hard to do even today. It was harder to force him to "work" from the ground as I could actually see what trying to make him do something, did to his movement. I started to realise that "scooling" was not about the bridle and "asking" but about the rider just sitting right and allowing. We are not taught to do less when we ride, we are always taught to fiddle about with our hands and legs and seat and reins. Real relationships were not about riding but about being together. On the precious few occasions when I was able to ride my horse he was more responsive and soft because I had realised I didn't need to expect or demand. Because I knew those 5 minutes may not come around again I needed to really, really appreciate the moment and his generosity in letting me on his back again, withtou goals or aims. He asked me to sit on him even knowing he may be stiff the next day if we got carried away and went a minute longer than we should have, as he wanted to rememeber the feeling of being ridden again. He loved to be ridden when he was younger. All I had to do was remember to stop trying so hard to "ride" and to let his movements flow with mine whatever we did or didn't do. There was no room for macho efforts and work when you have only 5 minutes before you have to get off. I too had much opposition because I was doing less not more, but those fewer things I did counted for more it seemed to me. So I have been fighting ever since against the learnt behaviour of "Making, doing, schooling and working" my horse. Not easy to go against cultural conditioning!
Imagine my dismay when I go with my heart and buy a 6 month old colt instead of an older horse and have to wait even more years to ride. He is nearly 4 and I have only sat on him a handful of times, as he is making me wait yet again! But while I wait I am guessing that there is more I need to unlearn before I am allowed on his back again. So I am always looking at what I need to let go of or stop doing, rather than what I need to be doing. As I try different ways he is getting more beautiful anyway, without needing to "be schooled". I realised the wisdom of a horseman (I think it may have been Bill Dorrance) who said that everything they do with a young horse from the ground is about preparation to be ridden, that when they do finally get on, when the horse is ready, they will already know what to do, and there is no fighting or "breaking" only softness. When I did back Monty he was so responsive straight away, he already knew how to move his leg sideways or stop. I was amazed at how advanced his understanding was, although I should not have been so as I had been working on our relationship since I met him, and working on helping him to feel how powerful his own body could be without me on it. So how glad was I when I found AND and learnt how much more I could do with him by doing even less! Now I am not worried if I ride or not as I know I can be with my horse and we can be more beautiful together on or off his back. I have unlearnt that horsemanship is about doing and am re-learning that it is about restraint and BEing. It is so hard to release all the time and not hold on. Old habits do indeed die hard.