The Art of Natural Dressage

Hi everybody!
My name is Stefanie - formerly known to Karen and others as "Vanilla" who posted Jospeha's and Bianca's email-addresses at the NHE-Forum... I changed that posting and just offered to contact me by PM and ask for the addresses... But the thread was soon deleted completely afterwards, so I do not think many people had the chance to stay in touch
Anyways, I am very happy to be here!!!
A few words about me: I started horseback riding when I was 9 years old. The traditional way - a riding school with horses that spent their life in small stalls (boxes) and only leave their prisons in order to be "ridden". Horses which had either given up - or were still fighting. Either way wasn't easy for a young girl to handle. For me, it was the way it was! I did not know any alternative then. At least, I learned to stay on top of the horse - most of the time... Soon, I was offered to ride "private" horses which were more sensitive and more "alive" - they taught me that I was dealing with an individual - with feelings, fears, desires, likes and dislikes. After a couple of years our family moved to another place and I stopped working with horses. But I never forgot - and I missed it a lot over the years. When I turned 25, I decided to take riding lessons, again. I started riding private horses, partly caring for them as if they were my own (because the owner didn't have the time ), moving from one stable to another.
To cut a long story short: Two years ago, I decided that I wanted to do it "my way" - with "my" horse. So I looked for a horse which would touch me And I found "Daiquiri Noir" - a young Hannoverian gelding, almost 4 years old. I had seen just a picture of him, but that made me jump in my car one morning at 6 o' clock, drive 5 hours to the northern part of Germany - to fall in love immediately!
Daiquiri was meant to become what you would call a "dressage horse", a "sports horse" - on his father's side it's all "Donnerhall", on his mother's side it's all "Rubinstein" (for those of you who know a bit about German Dressage horses). What a terrific fate for a young horse Daiquiri had been trained to be sold on a huge "Auktion" (auction oder Horse-fair??) in Northern Germany - he was still a baby then, as all other horses were there. Hardly 4 years old. Together with 23 other horses he was sold to the United states. Due to some problems with paper-work, these horses had to wait 3 weeks in their auction-stable to be flown out of the country. During those 3 weeks,not much happened with them - 3 of the horses developed "stereotypes". I do not know the exact translation. Is "weaving" and "wind-sucking" correct? Daiquiri did the latter - and therefore was returned do his breeder. That's where I found him.
I moved him to the stable where I used to ride some horses, then. Soon, Daiquiri decided that this was not the place where he wanted to live. Over night, the horses were inside, in stalls (or "boxes"). If the weather was really bad, they had to stay inside also during the day. He started running around in his stall like mad and would not stop until you took him outside. If the weather was good enough, they were turned outside onto sand-paddocks. Small things, most of them only for one horse. Daiquiri was lucky enough to have one of the few "2-horse-paddocks". But they did not have any hay out there, just water. For almost 8 hours! My horse started walking along the fence, back and forth, for hours. A heart-breaking sight to me!! Most people told me "He will calm down - he will get used." But to me it was not a matter of "calming down". It was mere frustration! So I decided to move to another stable (although I had to leave many friends at my old stable). Now, he has a little hut with a 300 square-meter paddock, he can move freely day and night, he can eat hay or straw whenever he feels like it. He lives with a beautiful little Haflinger-mare his age. I had planned another gelding as his partner - but he had fallen in love with that little "Blondie"-mare... what can you do?!? They have 4 geldings, left and right to their paddock. Two of them are Daiquiris buddies - I love to see him running with them over the paddock like crazy... I am glad, I moved...
With my moving to the new stable I started looking for a different way of riding and working with my horse. He was frightened of the bit, he had back-pain - the first couple of months I did not do much riding. The traditional way of riding lessons I had had so far started to become a neverending story of frustration - because I had the feeling I had to fight my horse instead of working and communicating with him. He did not have any fun - so I didn't have, either.
I have been working with a classical dressage teacher for a year, now. The first thing, he told me was, how the bit can cause pain - especially to the tongue. How you should use it without causing pain - actually using it so that you end up not having to use it at all.... well... I know, that my horse is not frightened any more, I know, that I do not hurt him with the bit any more. But I know he doesn't like it - he feels more comfortable without it. I started riding bitless and also with a neck ring. I am still experimenting and learning. I still take my classical lessons (and I am soooo thankful to my teacher who is teaching me to LISTEN to my horse very carefully and to COMMUNICATE instead of imposing orders!!) - and I still use the bit for that. But my aim is to eventually be able to work entirely bitless - and even bridleless. But I have to go a long way... And I hope to find some inspirations and some help, here!
I will add some pictures next week, of my handsome and now VERY self-confident 6-year-old beautiful horse.
Stefanie

Stefanie sooo good to see you here and thank you very very very much to give people the info to get in touch with us!!!!!!!!!!!

I never sheard of a horse wich is like my wise sister says.. let me explain. She says every horse had to be able to be responsible for its own life. Your horse really took his own fate into his own hands... sooo clearly!!! He must be a very strong soul!!!
Soo very inspiring!!

I learned to treat Atreyu this way, because I wanted to take over her responsibility in life to prevent her from pain. This is like taking the own strength out of your horse. You manage to keep you horse in its own strenght and admire him for that! This is really great!
I'm on the same path of wanting tyo ride bridleless so I'm very curious about your posts!

A warm welcome!!

Bianca

Hello Stephanie!!!

Oh it was SO brave of you to post those email addresses. Thank you for doing it. I grabbed Bianca's email address immediately and emailed her. The next time I looked at the thread there were many outraged responses, then it was all gone.

I may have something you can try regarding Daiquiri and the bitless bridle. It may be that you already know this and have already done it, but it helped Cisco adapt to it easily. He is now more responsive in the bitless than he ever was in the bit.

Part of the transition issue (from bit to bitless) was that he had learned to "seek contact" with the bit...to lean into it a little - that forward and down position. When I put the bitless on him, he was not used to seeking contact with just a nose band...so he wouldn't do it. At the time, I didn't want all the pressure on his head (all over) that the bitless employs, so I had attached the reins to just the side rings so it no longer crossed under his head.

Without knowing it, that meant all his contact was required on the noseband alone. He refused to seek that contact. He wouldn't round himself.

A friend called to me from across the arena, "try putting it back on the original rings so it crosses under he head again". So I did. Cisco was much happier, and at that point, he was at least trying to seek the contact, but still not doing it very consistently. I think it helped that the contact was spread over his entire head, and not just across his nose, but he was not used to the feel of it all.

So I did what I should have done in the first place. I did ground exercises with the bitless instead of the cordeo for at time. We practiced circles in hand, with the same touch one the reins as I would have on his back. WE practiced standing still and doing "the pose" which he could and would do with no touch on the reins at all...and we did what my trainer friend calls "doubling"...asking the horse to bring his head around to the point of his shoulder.

I of course used a clicker and treats for this by the way, so I could do it with a suggestion, rather than a pull on one line.

Once a horse will double with a whipser of a suggestion, as well as riding forward and low, they not only stretch their backs and relax, but they also become incredibly soft and loose at the poll.

Once he learned to do that, we do it a few times each side before I ride (part of our ground warm up), and then a few times when I first get on (he likes this...time to earn cookies!) and he just gets incredibly fluid (well, incredible for him!). As I ask for a faster gait...a faster trot or slow canter, he will elevate his head as he needs to get more underneath himself. As we slow to his "peanut rolling jog" or a relaxed walk, his head drops, (but retains a nice arch and flex at the poll). At the slower gaits he holds his head totally on his own, and at the faster gaits he leans into the headstall a little. We are still working toward the totally loose rein at the higher gaits. The reins are soft, and you can see them swing a bit, but there is just slightly more contact at the higher gaits.

But I really think it was the ground work, the doubling and the cookies that made it all work for him.

You probably know all this already, and my apologies if you do, but if not, it may be something to try?

Hi Karen!
Thank you so much for your advice!! And please: Don't apologize for it - I am sure you know much more than I do, you have already come much further working with your horse! So I really aprecciate your explanations!!
I haven't done groundwork with a bitless yet - I do it with a halter and sometimes with a (self-made) cordeo. It seems to me a very good idea to work on the ground with a bitless just as if it was a bridle with a bit. I just used a bitless bridle while riding - he did not seem to like all those strings around his head. So I tried something which comes close to the cavesson Bianca is using. He seemed to be more comfortable with just a little bit of pressure on his nose if necessary. As you already described, his problem is to relax physically and mentally - especially in faster gaits. It is not that easy to make him really stretch his back, his neck and to flex the poll. With the neck-ring he sort of "over-stretches" - his nose is almost touching the ground, especially in trot. So, this is not really what gets us any further. With the bit he has learned by now to stretch and simply "let go". As you describe, without the bit it seems he doesn't really know what to do. So, I will start working with the bitless on the ground as you suggested. The only problem I have with cookies is that he gets sooooo greedy! As soon as he smells a cookie in my pocket he starts showing off - just trying to show everything he has ever learned. He offers anything his little head can remember - just to get his cookie! It is very hard then to make him do just one special thing - and to really concentrate on me, not on the cookie! So, at the moment I am trying to reduce that "cookie-thing" a bit - and I found out a soft "Good boy!" is enough - most of the time!
Thanks again for your help! I will get back with new "reports", soon!
Bianca, thank you for your wonderful "Welcome"!
Stefanie

Bianca,
you said "He must be a very strong soul!!" I think you are quite right! Without wanting to become to "sentimental" or trying to see to many "human features" in horses, I am sure that their souls differ just as much as human souls.
My mother ones wanted to know what type of personality he is. She does not know much about horses, she rather is a bit afraid of them. But she is an extremely sensitive person so I tried to eyplain to her how I see my horse: (Please, do not laugh at me, I am not drunk I just try to create a picture of how I sometimes feel when Daiquiri welcomes me, when he "smiles" at me and makes me "smile" back...) I told my mom: "See, Mom, before Daiquiri was born he had the idea of returning to earth as a human being. Maybe as someone in politics, as a diplomat, someone who does a lot of reasoning, thinking and talking. When he was born, he was a bit surprised to feel straw underneath his body. He opened his eyes, managed to look past his big white nose, realized that he had FOUR legs. "Oh my goodness", he must have thought... no, probably rather "Holy Shit!" (please excuse my language, I am just quoting )... "Something must have gone wrong! I am the first human being with four legs and such a big nose, ever!"... It took a couple of days until he realized he was a tiny little horse-baby. Well, I am sure he has recovered from that shock, by now. But that's why he loves to stand nearby when we are having our coffee in the sun, why he relaxes and lifts one leg most elegantly, closing his eyes while we keep on talking about the neighbour's divorce, our aunts new clothes and the next vacation in Italy. That's why he is what I call an "extremely talkative horse" - enjoying it so much to be understood and to understand. That's why he is so special to me."
Honestly, being with him opened my eyes in respect to other horses: It's a whole new world of expression, of communication and of feelings I encounter, seeing his buddies and his "Blondie-girlfriend" in a new light. And this is something I am really thankful for! This is something he has taught me. This is why I also call him a "strong soul".
So happy to have found you guys here!
Stefanie

Wow stef, What a story!

Thank you for posting our email address, I got some nice emails...

I am very glad to have you here!
The story of your horse... I read it over and over, even with Alexander it went that way.
There comes a horse in your life who simply will not stand for the way horses are forced to live nowadays and that totally changes your life and view of horses.

for me that was Jamie!

Let is all be thankfull for those horses who take a stand against the regime and teach all of us the path to the right way.

Warmest regards,

Josepha

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www.equusuniversalis.com

For me it was Cisco. He threw me when he was five, for no reason I could understand at the time. It took me three and half years to understand and to rebuild my confidence. I know now it was a combination of my rudeness and very likely a sore back. He'd had enough of me not listening.

It's funny, but when you are isolated from people who may have the right answer, you not only feel like you are the only one, but it also forces you to begin a long search. It helps to define the limits (or limitlessnes) of your determination. More than once I almost sold Cisco, but every time it became a possibility, I would break down and cry. So I couldn't sell him. I couldn't take the easy way out.

Now I know that I am not the only one. That there are many with the same determination to find the right answers, and isn't nice to know they are all lead by a horse. Ha! And at one time we thought we were doing the leading!

Josepha and Karen,
yes, it is the horses - and only the horses - who lead us into the right direction. The problem is that most of us have stopped to listen. So many rules, "does and don'ts" and theories are imposed on us that it is really hard to find the "simple way". Because the simple way is harder than anything else. It means to learn to trust your intuition; it means to take your time - take your time and use your eyes, your feelings - in German we say "listen to your belly". No matter what other people and so-called "specialists" say. It means to learn the language your horse is speaking - not the other way around. It helps a lot if the horse is learning to "interpret" what you say or mean. But when mutual understanding is no longer possible - than it is the humans who have to ask themselves why. It is never the horse. I like the sentence "Horse is always right". There is a deep wisdom in those few words.
And I truly hope we never forget those words - and never stop to listen.
Warmest regards to all of you!
Stefanie

Hi Vanilla, Stef I should say.

I am so glad you joined this forum. I found the few posts you made on NHE forum wise and appropriate.

I was actually hoping you would join this forum. I was looking under the wrong name. In French when we say someone or something is Vanilla: it means it is straightforward, simple and honest.

I have to admit that I also had a horse who wanted to be treated fairly and in respect to her nature. She was a QH mare called Naya. The more I tried to communicate with her through natural horsemanship (Parelli & cie), the worse it was getting. Like Karen, I thought of selling her so often, almost every month for 5 years. I finally took the easy way out and sold her to a friend of mine to be a brodmare.

Since I discovered NHE and AND, mainly the play aspect of it I am convinced that I could start all over again with her and give her an enjoyable life and we could become partners. There is no day that I regret it and I would like to get her back.

I have sold her 2 years ago aroud this date actually. I never went back to see her I am afraid of what I might discover.

Sorry for expending on this. This is a squelet in my closet that I am not proud of. Bravo Karen and Stef for raising up to the challenge.

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Madeleine

Madeleine,
I didn't know the French meaning of "being Vanilla"... I picked the nickname because I like the taste and the smell of Vanilla. To me it connotates a certain feeling - a certain "tenderness" (as opposed to "pepper" or "chili", for example ). To me my horse is more "Vanilla" than "pepper". But the French meaning suits him perfectly well - and for me it is something I would always try to live up to...difficult though. But it was probably the best name to pick considering the circumstances under which I entered (and left) the NHE-Forum...
Your story about Naya touches me a lot! I can see that this is something which will probably always be with you...
You said "I finally took the easy way out and I sold her" - sometimes, "giving up" is not the easiest way. You tried hard for so many years! You really gave your best, you tried everything you were capable of, then! Today, you know more. Maybe today chances would be that you both would find a way together - BUT, the situation was different back then. And maybe it was a very wise decision to let her go. I think sometimes it is much harder to say "enough is enough" than to go on and on - and to remain in a vicious cycle of frustration (for the horse and the owner).
I do not know whether it would be a good idea to visit her today and see how she is doing. Maybe, she is doing better than she was doing with you back then - maybe she is not doing as good as she could be doing with you TODAY. You should not visit her before you are not absolutely sure that you can live with all possible results you may find there. It can give you relief - but it can also make you feel even more miserable...
Madeleine, I am sure you very well know all this yourself. I just want to give you the feeling that you should not blame yourself for having chosen "the easy way". I think you should try to forgive yourself for how you acted while training her and when selling her - you did the best you could think of then, just as you do today. On the road we travel (not only with our horses but in life in general) we most of the time learn and develop by making mistakes. And the important thing is not to concentrate too much on regretting our mistakes but on what we have learned by making them. And to go on from there... Just as you do with your horse, today!
Warmest regards from "Vanilla"-Stef (who is still making one million mistakes a day - hoping to make at least new mistakes the next day instead of repeating the old ones... )

Dear Vanilla-Stef,

I have tears in my eyes while writing this. You will never know how much comforting your kind words are to me. I will keep them in my private email to read them over again.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart

Kindest regards,

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Madeleine