The Art of Natural Dressage

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 Post subject: 2010 - Resolutions
PostPosted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 11:26 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2007 4:10 am
Posts: 3688
Location: Pacific Northwest U.S.
1 - To stop and take time more often to just look at Bonnie and Altea with the expectation they have something to say to me and to teach me, and to wait patiently to see and hear it.

2 - To be with them more for their company than to DO something.

3 - To use "ask" more and so to demand less, even when I think my time is important and their comfort less so.

4 - To remember every day that my focus on having horses is not on what they can do for me but what I, who got so much from horses for so long, can do for them.

Well, that's a start. I'm sure there is more. I'll revisit this post and update it if more comes to mind.

Donald

_________________
Love is Trust, trust is All
~~~~~~~~~
So say Don, Altea, and Bonnie the Wonder Filly.


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 Post subject: Re: 2010 - Resolutions
PostPosted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 6:29 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2008 8:05 pm
Posts: 2888
Location: Natal, South Africa
Wow. Good Topic. I only need to make one resolution at the moment, and frankly I'm not all that hopeful of managing to get it right ... :sad:

To find enough time to give both my horses some undivided attention EVERY DAY.

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Glen Grobler

Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled. Anon


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 Post subject: Re: 2010 - Resolutions
PostPosted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 7:06 am 
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Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2007 4:10 am
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Location: Pacific Northwest U.S.
Glen Grobler wrote:
Wow. Good Topic. I only need to make one resolution at the moment, and frankly I'm not all that hopeful of managing to get it right ... :sad:

To find enough time to give both my horses some undivided attention EVERY DAY.


While I'd only be able to guess at your motive for wanting to give undivided attention there is something neat about doing that in even small bits. It's the focus much more than the length of time.

Many years ago I learned a skill for my profession where one does focus like that. And with my own children I learned very quickly that I had NOT been spending time with them giving my undivided attention.

Thus they needed much more time.

Once I got it that I could really attend to them, with nothing else on my mind, suddenly their little batteries were charged in only a few minutes of this quality time.

That IS what I was thinking about when I wrote my first resolution for 2010.

Hugs, and remember to attend yourself as well.

Donald

_________________
Love is Trust, trust is All
~~~~~~~~~
So say Don, Altea, and Bonnie the Wonder Filly.


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 Post subject: Re: 2010 - Resolutions
PostPosted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 7:51 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2008 8:05 pm
Posts: 2888
Location: Natal, South Africa
Quote:
While I'd only be able to guess at your motive for wanting to give undivided attention


No need to guess - it is the basis of every "good" relationship I know of ...

Yes, I'm talking about that "focus" here. I'm finding that I have "equine attention time interruption" problems - i.e. the people around me seem to think that if I ride they must leave me alone, but anything else I do with my horses is fair game for interruption or spectating. I don't get that "small moment" of undivided focus on my horse/s anymore except occasionally with Freckles if I am on his back, and even then I have had only one uninterrupted ride with him in the last 3 weeks (that's the ride where he did NOT nap or faff around ... :twisted: .)

Quote:
Hugs, and remember to attend yourself as well.


I wish. When? :funny: Actually I do make time for myself every morning - barring unusual incidents of course.

_________________
Glen Grobler



Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled. Anon


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 Post subject: Re: 2010 - Resolutions
PostPosted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 4:15 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2007 4:10 am
Posts: 3688
Location: Pacific Northwest U.S.
I've had success in the past with this "uninterrupted time" problem by first giving a little explanation - nothing elaborate, just stating facts, and setting a visual signal as a reminder. Something bright and different than usual in the foreground so it's seen first.

Maybe an orange traffic cone, or a piece of construction zone tape across the opening used to get to me.

That was a solution for me professionally.

At home I found that if the persons interrupting were told I'd give them undivided attention later, ie make an appointment with them, and I kept it as promised, and really did focus on them as they interacted with me it broke their pattern of feeling they had to interrupt me to reach me and be heard.

It does take a bit of time up front to get them "trained," but ultimately it not only really did save a good deal of time it vastly improved my relationship with them.

It's respectful and gives the message that you think, by demonstrating, they are important too.

Sometimes it works nicely with horses.

I guess I need to reinstitute this with Bonnie. She gets terribly cranky and upset, bucking and squealing in her stall, even kicking the wall occasionally, if I attend to Altea first. Hmmmm...maybe my advice was really meant for me rather than you. In fact you probably had this worked out long ago. :friends:

Donald

_________________
Love is Trust, trust is All
~~~~~~~~~
So say Don, Altea, and Bonnie the Wonder Filly.


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