The Art of Natural Dressage

Some attempts to discredit him have been made. He doesn't write, as far as I could tell, so much as a researcher as one who simply introduces a postulate to be explored.

It had meaning to me because I was in the research laboratory, so to speak, with children that were 'different.'

I started the train of thought that ended with what I've concluded here by considering that they were 'primitive,' which they were, in behaviors.

The question in mind was always, "how is that a bad thing?"

Not just about them, but about humans in general, and individuals in particular.



Most AND members are escapees or recovering from "compulsive controlling syndrome."

Or I could be projecting that it's me that suffers or suffered from it for so long. Though at 19 years old I was beginning to ask the questions I'm still exploring about this issue.

The categorizing of individuals into 'sets,' can be both useful and brutally destructive. I was amazed to learn that with the boys I worked with.

I began to re-frame who they were, from the diagnosis they had been given. Of course my re-framing was positive in outcome, both as I stated it and how they began to respond to it.

A child was no longer "obsessive," but "focused," and a "problem solver." A child wasn't "hyper-active," but simply "energetic," and needing to direct it.

A child was no longer angry and violent, but instead seeking the causes of his behavior.

This one flew so well it became incorporated in our treatment models.

I found, when I began, they were taking the boys for time to beat on mats in the basement of the treatment home. All fine and good. They were even encouraged to NAME who they were beating and so violently angry at .... BUT no one had bothered to, at the end of the session, stop and ask them what they would like to do about this now in the real world.

I did.

They came up with elegantly sophisticated answers and solutions. "My father is dead, but I could write to him anyway," (shades of Fritz Perls) and "when my mother visits next will you sit in with us and help me tell her what I'm afraid to tell her?" And similar things.



So why then are we so focused on and in tune with horses?

What are we seeking?

Why do I consider myself a servant to the horse?

Why do I along with others here, for that matter?

Look at the care we give them. And the place in our lives they fill.

And what steps must we go through to find out.

I contemplated just such questions this afternoon forking up Altea's droppings and pitching them over the fence into the growing pile in the snow.

What is a 73 year old man, a former, and returned professional horseman doing returning to the simple labors, hauling water, shoveling manure, and grooming and feeding a horse?

I did not ever consider this would be what I would be doing in my later years.

It must be making me physically strong for one thing. I shoveled heavy wet snow off the back deck when I returned home this evening. And what used to put me in a near coma a year ago didn't even make breath hard.

So will I find more when I've done the labor and contemplated the possibilities?

Or is this itself the mystery?

The simple doing.

A lot of garbage falls away when one works really hard, either or both with body and mind, at simple things.

Thanks for the mention of Williams. I'll be exploring further.

Donald

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Love is Trust, trust is All
~~~~~~~~~
So say Don, Altea, and Bonnie the Wonder Filly.

Oh! Julian Jaynes book first showed me that different ways of thinking were positive not wrong. I read it when it first came out and rejoiced in the questions he asked. So long ago now that I only remember the gist of it - but that has stayed with me. Might have to check the library.

Re; being a servant to horses - I thought so too for awhile but now realize for me personally the relationship is as a sister. When I tried to learn NH I fell apart - couldn't feel comfortable around a horse for a few years ... now I think I understand that as a reaction of shame. Once again trying to be someone I am not. I am not an alpha mare - that's laughable -- why would I want to be someone the herd leaves alone? Sister is realistic. Sometimes I want to defer to the horse's intuition -- other times I need to ask the horse to trust that I understand the situation better etc. Freely passing the leadership back and forth - more enlightening right?

Leigh I looked up the siberian ice maiden and it gave me goosebumps! When I was young I imagined heaven as horse heaven - high mountain pastures open to the sky -- ahhh -- thanks for the sending!

So many wonderful thoughts to play with here!

First, so I don't forget, Donald, have you read any of George Lakoff's work on "framing language"? I think this is exactly what you were doing when you were re-framing how you and your colleagues and your kids were thinking about what was happening in their lives and how they might get categorized.

(Another example of Donald working the system to benefit the individual, rather than bending the individual to the system...)

Karen, I laughed when I read your piece on being a servant to horses! There are definitely moments when I feel I am, and that's good for me to remember as I work through my own tendencies towards being Queen of All She Surveys...and there are other times when I feel like a parent, but I love your idea of sister -- beautiful! There is an intimacy to that and an evenness that I really like. (And I would guess that Donald has a marvelously intricate dance he does in his relationship to Altea, though she IS Queen of All She Surveys! ) But I think an awareness of being a servant is probably more important for those of us who work through instincts (or in Donald's case, years and years of professional experience) of being the master -- it doesn't sound like that's something you've had to fight with in yourself!



Isn't it just magical? I have had the same image...I think it's deep down in our DNA or something. I went to Romania a number of years ago and landed in their version of high rolling grasslands and wept because it so tugged on me...my traveling companions thought I was completely nuts, but I felt such an old longing...

The Ice Maiden had me up until three in the morning last night -- absolutely enchanted by the story and the images and what they evoked in my imagination. She's been with me all day today, too...

Here's a link to an interview with the archaeologist who found her, as well as her husband -- also an archaeologist, who found a warrior burial near by. I was so intrigued with their story as well...

First, an excerpt that fits into our conversation:


From http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/transcript ... erian.html

All the best,
Leigh
PS: I'm having one of those "MAN, I LOVE THIS FORUM! moments!) It's so exciting to have found a place to talk about this sort of thing in this way...

_________________
"Ours is the portal of hope. Come as you are." -- Rumi
www.imaginalinstitute.com

Leigh,
I did have a time when I tried to be the master of all horses - but that was peer pressure and a bit of hidden rage - yuck ---

Then I relaxed into the love I had for them. I think I took on the feelings of helplessness when I watched rough handling. Maybe even identifying with them more than other people. Maybe it's because I have a more autonomous nature myself that led me to treat horses that way. Or having less fear - doesn't fear hide behind anger and control? In any case I did 'screw up' enough over the years.

As for the wonderful Ice Maiden -- I looked up and found the PBS video at the main library in my local system - it should be here on Saturday -- yay!! I saw a few photos in the online article -- I was just as fascinated by the cloth --

I know what you mean about 'I love this forum' moment. This is a subject dear to me -- history and horses and spirit and that extra mystery -- it is still in our DNA possibly. I don't fit in with a technological society at all - and yet -- this thread reminds me that my world IS still here.

I am only half a human
The other is hawk and horse.
Carnivore; herbivore,
I grew up nearly even.
With muddied feet
I watch the clouds
Testing wind and
Feeling footing.

I am in awe of all.
Perhaps that is the key
To being fully human!


something I wrote many years ago while cleaning stalls and watching a hawk.


The hardest of this all is to let go of projecting isn't it? I think Donna Williams wrote that? I agree. Either concerning Aspie traits and breathing in horse.

night all -- I must get a good night's rest before shoveling the expected foot of snow coming overnight --ZZZzzzz



edited to add for clarity I hope.

First of all, STOP SAYING SORRY!!!
Autism is not a bad thing, and actually giving the feeling to an autistic person that he is ill or in a bad condition is the WORST and most harmful thing you can do to them. It is not an illness, it is just being diferent. Autism is, in many cases much more a bless instead. Many autistic person (This is even much more true amongst Aspies. [Aspie = Person with Asperger]) can see the world in a much richer way. It is like if neurotypical* people would see in greyscale while autistics would see in colour. Neurotypical people will never be able to fully understand how they see things.

* neurotypical means an "ordinary", typical person who thinks and looks upon things in a typical way. So it means somebody who is not autistic nor has any other mental difference the ordinary people. It used to be acronymed as "NT"

In the particular case of Asperger, it is in most cases means very strong patters and systematical thinking. Thinking can even be so systematical that they can easily understood overcomplicated systems that neurotypical people can't, because they see rules others can't. Also, amongst Aspies, extremly high Intelligence is very common. Many Aspies are members of Mensa.

There are two types of Aspies and these two types are generated usually by their enviornment. Those who always feel that they are ill, inferior, stupid etc. thanks to people who look down upon them, such Aspies became self destructive, and self hating. The mechanism is the same when a girl always feels that people think she is fat, and becomes anorexic. But those who get support usually become strong and after a while learn how to make advantage out of their differentness. So what you have to do with an autistic children is to support him always, and make him feel that he is not inferior, not ill, he is not lesser in any way than others.

Unfortunately society's biggest problem is that everything that is unusual or strange they call wrong and ill. People if they see an autistic person will say: Ohh poor guy, how bad that must be... HELL NO!!! It isn't. They are just different. And if people do not look down them, they can be very happy with themselves. Though it is true it can be hard to assimilate into society. It is like if you would be in a country that has much different culture and language than you. You have to learn the local rules and language, what takes much time. And in the same time your culture is different, you may disagree in many things with the locals. You have to adapt to the local cultural rules but meanwhile you try to keep your original culture and do not lose your nationality.

The example o the "Do not run" sign is a perfect example of what NT people can learn from autistics: The see everything as it is. This way of seeing things and thinking is first of all based on simplicity - and here come a GREAT misunderstanding. Simplicity means what it means: Simplicity. It does not mean dumbness or lower intelligence. Actually, an autistic person usually thinks in similar ways to zen buddhism!

Here is an example: Put a glass of water on a table and ask ordinary people "What is this?". They will give answers like: "It is water.", "It is a glass", "It is a drink"... But if you ask a zen monk, he will, without saying any word take the glass and drink the water. Because the heart of zen is simplicity. If you call it on names you just label, and do not get closer to its true nature. While drinking the water his answer is the true nature of that glass opf water, without labelling.
Aspies think in a simolar way, they do not like to label things, instead they look them much more "As it is". And this is why understanding metacommunication and such things are extremly hard to them. For an Aspie if you say "You are smart" he will take it as it is. If you say it with an ironic voice to express that he is NOT smart he will not catch it, since being smart means being smart. For them it is absolutely unlogical if you say something but you mean something else. So for an Aspie, speaking in a way where not every word should be interpreted as the exact meaning of it from the dictionary, they will found it senseless. For them, it will sound like if for an NT if you say "Cows used to fly and they eat chocolate cake" - it will have simply no sense. Also this is why if somebody is angry at them and says things like that "you are a bad children" or "how can you be so stupid?" and the like, they take it as it is, and many will not understand that the other person only said this because it was angry. If an Aspie children annoys his parents and the parents say things like this in anger, the children will really believe that it is a fact that he is bad or stupid or that his parents hate him.



AnnieB:

Most autistic agrees: Society!



Exactly. If we would expect from somebody who originates from another nation to drop his own culture and language in the trash bin and take ours completely. Society has simply no any tolerance. It took some hundreds of years to look upon women as equal. It also took loong time to start accepting homosexuals, or afroamericans. I hope that one day autistics will be accepted too.


Good point. You are right, this is how you can understand animals in a way nobody else can: Became like them, be a part of their world, think like them. Autistioc persons are by default doing this. If they meet something, a human, an animal or an object, they became similar, they assimilate to understand it. When an autistic communicates with an animal he becames like an animal. This is why animals understand them so well and they understand animals so well. And just like in the cause of an autiostic, in the case of a horse you must be clear and precise. Just liek Aspies, horses can't read very well your conscious metacommunication, they will react to your unconscnious nstead. If you tell a horse to run, but you think stop, the horse will stop and will be totally confuesed why you still give the sign of running. This is the same with autostics. You have to say exactly what you think, without metaphores, hidden meanings and such.


This is why the official term is "autism spectrum". The sectrum is very wide and people can have numerous different position on this spectrum. The end of the spectrum touches NT people, so it cannot be decided clearly where the exact border is - or to be honest, actually there is no exact border.


Exactly. The current educatinal system is a total crap that has no any sense. Juts compare the intelligence, knowledge and understanding of a children taught at home by parents with good understanding, with an ordinary kid in the school of the same age. The difference will be extreme. For example when I started school as a little kid we started learning writing, and adding small numbers. At that time I already knew writing and reading, and when we exercised 5+3 in school, I knew how to count 128+312 or 3*14 in head. How? Simple: I was curious and I asked my parents before I went to first class, and so, I learned it. So I had the best results in school, and many praises for many years. The only thing I always had bad qualifications in, was behaviour.

Anyway, AnnieB you have many very good points and seem to see the main problems of this society very well. I am very happy for you.



ET:
AS you describe your point of view I am almoust sure you are Aspie too. Asperger was not really known for long time, only recently it got more light. Most aspies are not "diagnosted". (Though since it is not illness just a way of differentness, the word "discovered" would be much better than "diagnosted".)



P.s.: I am close to collapse from being extremly tired, so I didn't read the whole topic. Maybe tomorrow...

(Edited: Correcting spelling and adding some thoughts on autistic point of view and zen.)

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Sic itur ad astra

This site might be of interest for you:
http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/

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