Although time is great, and so is spending time just being with her, the best thing is to find your self- your true self.
Do not try to teach her anything. Do not try to tell her that she must do this or that. If you tell her how she must do something, she will most likely disrespect you more. Find your self, willing and excited to be, and you will find a willing horse in front of you.
nice that you seem to feel at home enough here to share so much of your thoughts with us these days. Itâ€™s also great that you have found your personal answer to so many of your questions. However, please keep in mind that itâ€™s your own personal answer. It might be what works best for you, but that does not necessarily mean that itâ€™s the one and only way for everyone else.
At AND we believe in a multitude of different approaches to horses and life in general. We have so many different people here and they all have something interesting to share. Often those things are very different from each other, but I think there is a huge potential in just that.
Bianca once expressed this in a way I have remembered ever since. She said that when writing in the AND forum everyone was putting the things he can offer on the table, and then everyone could choose what fits him best. But after putting your things on the table your responsibility ends. With this I do not mean that once someone has chosen to try out your approach you shouldnâ€™t help him. I just mean that after offering something, itâ€™s not our responsibility to make the others choose it. Referring back to the table analogy, you might have offered the most delicious salad dressing, but if someone thinks itâ€™s not something he wants to put on his ice cream, thatâ€™s completely fine. And even if you were convinced that what heâ€™s eating is not (or should not be) ice cream but indeed salad â€“ and therefore you believe that enforcing him to try out your dressing is just for his own best â€“ it still doesnâ€™t mean that he must take it. Maybe he simply prefers his salad without dressing or is even allergic to it.
But back from salad dressings to finding your self. I am really glad that this is working for you to be very aware of that. But it doesnâ€™t work for everyone. I for example am someone who would neither want to be aware of myself all the time, nor do I think itâ€™s possible, nor do I think itâ€™s beneficial, nor am I sure that there actually IS something like an unchangeable â€œselfâ€ at all â€“ and please add â€œfor meâ€ to all the things I said before, because when I say this, I really donâ€™t mean to let it sound like a fact, but just my own personal view. This might have nothing to do with your own view of the world, and still this doesnâ€™t mean that you are wrong or I am wrong â€“ it just means that we come from different perspectives.
Enough of my babbling, all I wanted to say actually is that at AND we prefer not to present our offers as â€œYou shouldâ€¦â€, â€œDo notâ€¦!â€, â€œThe best thing isâ€¦â€ or anything like that. Please feel free to present you offers, but please be aware that they are really just offers of what is working for you, not necessarily the truth for everyone else.
Again, great to have you here.